These Unsent Letters

9-10-23:

 

I know that this is the last thing you'd ever expect to receive from me but considering the circumstance, this is really the only way that I can communicate with you. Granted, if you receive this, it may be the last time I ever do because you may not want me to again. I'm going to be honest and all over the place but I want you to keep in mind that in the process of moving on I am currently angry and feeling overwhelmingly hurt. So if you decided to put off reading this, this may not actually be where I am emotionally anymore. So if you want to reach out, don't be afraid to do so just because of this. In this moment I just need to be heard before I lose my goddamn mind, if I haven't already. I'm sorry if this isn't the best, I just didn't want to live with the regret of never expressing myself fully.

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I think you've just made the biggest mistake of your life. I don't mean moving to South Carolina, That is the best decision you have ever made for yourself and I am still incredibly proud of you. I mean how you have handled the whole situation as well as dumping me in general but specifically how you did. I know that maybe breaking up with me was potentially a good decision too but right now it feels wrong. This whole thing fucking hurts and I don't understand why it won't stop. Everyone expects me to be getting better but for every one step that I take I feel like I end up taking three steps back. And I get to sit here at home trying to cope with the abandonment and the feeling of being unloved while you get to spend time and do fun shit with your family. You look so fucking happy and I'm jealous because I'm not. I'm jealous because it looks like you're moving on while every piece of me is refusing to believe that you've actually left. My soul keeps believing that you're still on vacation and any day now you'll be coming home like you promised. Every day I have to break my own heart by reminding myself that you're never coming back. If I knew that day you came to visit me at work before you left that you wouldn't be coming back, I would have...READ MORE